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For Chakra 5, we will be focusing on the psychological aspects of communication. If you feel blocked in this area, you are not alone. Based on what I’ve observed in students and clients over the years, blocks in this chakra are pretty universal and often intensely charged.

This is a vulnerable place, because the throat chakra is where the inside comes out. If we learned it wasn’t safe to share our deep interior self, that we might be ridiculed, misunderstood, ignored, dis­believed, or punished in any way for sharing our truth, then we shut down our throat chakra. There may have been a good reason at the time, but later we have trouble opening it up again.

CHAKRA FIVE
THE COMMUNICATION CHAKRA

NAME: Vissudha (meaning) “purification”

LOCATION: Throat, mouth, ears, shoulders

ELEMENT: Sound

COLOR: Sky blue

PURPOSE: Communication, purification, attunement, creative expression

DEVELOPMENTAL AGE: 7 to 12 years

IDENTITY: Creative identity

DEMON: Lies

GIFTS: Harmony, creativity

RIGHT: To speak and be heard

EXCESSIVE: Loud, scattered, talks too much

DEFICIENT: Shy, difficulty speaking

PRINCIPLE: Sympathetic vibration resonance

CORE VALUE: Truth

BALANCED: Clear communication, good listening, attunement with surroundings

5_Vishudda_color

Additionally, the lower chakras must be functioning to give proper support to an open throat chakra. We need a good, solid ground in chakra one; we need to be in touch with our feelings in chakra two; willing to take our power in chakra three; and empathically connected to ourselves and others in relationship in chakra four. If any of these are missing, then it is no surprise that chakra five would be affected.

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This is a vulnerable place, because the throat chakra is where the inside comes out.

When we can instead deepen our connection to our feelings and sensations, acknowledge them and breathe through them, they become easier to handle.

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Vibrational Impact

Anything that has a strong impact on our soul has a vibrational resonance. Nature’s balance requires that we vibrate that impact back out again: by talking about it to a trusted friend or therapist, by making sounds, writing in our journal, creating art, or at least some form of expression. When we can’t express what happens to us, we deaden ourselves and become more distant from the flow of life, both inside and out. Our body and etheric field become dense, and we have stagnant feelings, diminished energy, and less connection to self and others.

Why do we hold back? While we may think it is fear of someone’s reaction, (rejection, ridicule, anger, etc.) what we are really trying to avoid is our own uncomfortable feelings.

We are afraid we can’t handle the feeling of rejection, conflict, misunderstanding, or disharmony. When we can instead deepen our connection to our feelings and sensations, acknowledge them and breathe through them, they become easier to handle. We are then less controlled by the need to avoid them and can communicate honestly, effectively, and fairly.

Below you will find some exercises to improve your communication. But before you do, consider that out of the following three rules, at least three should be the case in order to justify a communi­cation:

  • What you’re going to say is true.
  • What you’re going to say is kind.
  • What you’re going to say is necessary.
  • What you’re going to say is timely.

Whatever you are not saying contributes to density and disharmony in the body and blocks the throat chakra from other expression, including creativity. IF you can’t say it to the actual person, write it in your journal, express it through art or dancing.

Truth and Lies

  • What were the messages around communication when you were a child? Were you heard when you spoke?
  • Was your truth honored? Did anyone even ask your opinion? Was there anybody you could really talk to?
  • Were you humiliated for saying something stupid?
  • Were there lies in the family that you were told or were expected to keep? (such as lies about drinking, affairs, money, mental illness, etc)
  • Were you forced to keep secrets?
  • Did you have to tell lies to avoid punishment, humiliation, or in protection of others?
  • Do you still tend to lie or shade the truth in self-protection?

The Game of Pretend

Most everyone plays the game of pretend some of the time. Children do it to pretend that some­thing is there. Adults do it to pretend something is not there. We pretend to be nice; we pretend we’re not afraid; we pretend we know what we’re doing; we pretend to listen.

This exercise comes from my friend and communication coach, Taber Shadbourne. It’s a great way to find out what you are really doing and why, and a great way to create intimacy in groups and rela­tionships. To flesh out all the parts you typically try to hide, simply complete the following sentence as many times as necessary and say it out loud to a friend or even better, to a group.

“Sometimes I pretend. . . .”

Examples:

  • Sometimes I pretend I am cool and aloof when really I am feeling insecure and don’t know what to say.
  • Sometimes I pretend I’m not interested when I feel really attracted to someone.
  • Sometimes I pretend I’m confident and have it together, when I really feel like a fraud half the time.
  • Sometimes I pretend I’m feeling OK and happy, when I’m really not OK inside.

What do you pretend? When? What is going on underneath? What would be more deeply true?

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Most everyone plays the game of pretend some of the time.

Noticing

Good communication begins by listening. Not just listening to another, but also by “listening” with your consciousness to what’s going on in your body. We generally call that noticing.

“I’m noticing that my belly is tightening as you are talking to me.” “I’m noticing I’m constricting my breath when I think about this.” “I’m noticing I feel lighter when you tell me you forgive me.”

“When you get angry with me I notice my heart starts pounding in my chest.”

It is important not to create stories about why your belly is tightening, but simply stick to a factual communication of “when this happens, I notice x and y.” It is also important to notice things about yourself, not the other person.

Don’t say, “I notice you are unhappy with me,” because you don’t really know for sure what’s going on in another person unless they tell you. Instead you might say, “I notice I feel uncomfortable when I don’t know what you are feeling about me, and I make up a story that you are unhappy with me.”

By stating what we are noticing within, a person can begin to relate with empathy to our experience. We can follow that noticing with a feeling, a need, or a request.

Example: “I notice my heart is pounding and that I feel scared. I have a need to be safe, and request that we take time out until we can both become less triggered.”

Withholds

Some would argue that it is safer to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. But that safety has a price: intimacy and presence.

When we withhold something, we are less present. We have a little racket going on in our head—something that is true that we aren’t bringing forth. In relationships, this creates distance. In groups, we have less engagement. In general, we are less alive.

If you find that you’ve grown distant in a relationship with a friend, partner, child, parent, or co-worker, then chances are you’ve built up a pile of “withholds.” Withholds are the things you don’t say. They might be little things that you don’t want to bother with, like wishing someone dressed differently; critical comments you think might upset someone, like telling them their breath is bad; or important things, like how you’ve been feeling really separate lately, or are wondering if you should stay in the relationship. A withhold can even be something positive, like neglecting to say how pleased you were about something, or how nice someone looked. The biggest withhold is love when unsaid things are in the way.

Any of the following steps can be used, alone or together to move out of withholds:

Step One:

In your journal, write down everything you can think of that you have NOT said to a particular per­son, but you have felt, noticed, or held back. Keep going without censorship until you naturally have some positive things to say.

Step Two:

Try practicing with a third person, saying the following dialog:

Friend or facilitator: Tell me something you’ve withheld from John. . .

You: John, I don’t like it when you slam doors in the house.

Friend: Thank you. Tell me something else you’ve withheld from John.

You: I felt lonely and ignored the other night when you were watching TV.

Friend: Thank you. Tell me something else you’ve withheld from John.

Take whatever is next on the pile until there are no more withholds coming to mind. Remember, your friend says only “Thank you” and “Tell me something else you have withheld.” She does not analyze, comment, or give feedback.

Step Three:

If possible, try this with the actual person in this way:

A: John, I have something I have withheld from you. Are you willing to hear it?

B: Yes, I am. (or No, not now, how about later? This then needs to be respected.)

A: Last night, when you were drinking, I was uncomfortable and scared.

B: Thank you.

A: I have something else I have withheld. Are you willing to hear it?

B: Yes.

A: I felt resentful that I had to do all the driving because I was really tired.

B: Thank you.

The agreed upon rule in this exercise is that the person hearing the withhold ONLY says “Thank you.” No defending, analyzing, arguing, or counter accusing. They can, however, alternate turns, or wait until you are finished, and then ask permission to share any of their own withholds, and then the same process applies for you to receive them and say thank you.

It is also important when doing withholds to speak from our own interior experience, not your judgment, assessment or analysis of what someone else is doing.

Usually, the “difficult” things get said first, and then after those are out of the way, good things come up to be shared, and a feeling of lightness and closeness results.

This is not, however, license for a dumping session, or for expressing your withholds with accusation or blame. To avoid this, consider the rules of Non-Violent Communication below.

THE 4 COMPONENTS OF NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION

By Marshall B. Rosenburg, Ph.D.
From the book: Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life
Puddle Dancer Press, Encinitas, CA: 2003

NVC seeks to express honestly through the four components and receive empathetically through these four components:

  • Observation

The concrete facts that we observe, without evaluation or blame. Be careful of voice tone, that can be blaming even when the words are not.

Ex: It is now 3:00. My understanding was that we would meet at 2:30 today.

  • Feelings

How we feel in relation to what we observe. Owning our feelings, and not making the other respon­sible.

Ex: I was worried something happened to you and I was growing agitated while I waited. I also notice I feel angry about having to wait.

  • Needs

The needs, values, desires, etc. that create our feelings.

Ex: I have a need to be budget my time carefully, because I have a full schedule today.

  • Requests

The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives.

Ex: I request that you communicate with me ahead of time if you are going to be late, so I can use the time elsewhere, or reschedule. I request that we keep our time commitments more carefully.

Remember, communication is an art and takes practice. Try first to discern your own truth, and second to share it. When you share it, come from your heart first, by connecting emphatically with the other person.

“This might be hard for you to hear, but. . .”

“I know you are sensitive about this issue so I want to speak carefully.”

“I’m not sure exactly what my truth is, but I would like to attempt to tell you what parts I’m aware of already and help me figure it out.”

Your truth may be conflicted, but if that is what’s true, then express the conflict:

“I want to be closer to you but I also need my space.”
“I love you but sometimes I don’t like you very much.”

Truth is not black or white but highly nuanced. In Sanskrit, the word for truth is Satya, which means, “just what is.” If we refrain from putting values and interpretations on what we say and hear, we can better speak and listen to truth.

Truth in general:

Ultimately, communication that is alignment with our truth is congruent. We express what is deepest within us. We cannot always expect our truth to be heard, agreed with, understood, or reflected back to us. But we can be in alignment with our word.

When we give our word, it is equally important to follow through with our actions. This gives power to our word and promotes integrity.

This bundle of information and techniques for working with your chakras offers you a wide pallet for your personal and professional transformation.

This information is part of a larger comprehensive course: Chakra Healing Bundle. With practices you can use the rest of your life, this valuable resource helps you navigate your way to better health, expanded awareness, and joy. Check out the link below where you can watch the video teaser and see your many bonus items along with 7 Chakra Awakening Videos to take your chakra learning to the next level!